Interrupting Lunchbox
by rudy0924
Summary: Gail has some important news to share with her wife. If only Holly would stop talking (and hyperventilating) long enough to hear it. Established Golly relationship.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction. I definitely do not claim to be a great writer, but I couldn't get this idea out of my head. Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue, Gail or Holly. This makes me no monies; that's what my day job is for.**

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When Holly walked in the door, the only thing on her mind was pajamas. It was only 7:30, but her day had been long and wet. The morning had started with a visit to a crime scene in the woods on one of the rainiest days to hit Toronto all year. Combine that with the floater and the lightning-induced power outage that had erased half of the journal article she was working on and Holly couldn't imagine one more minute in the clothes that had never quite dried out. She wanted flannel pants, an oversized sweater and a giant cup of hot tea. Oh and snuggles. A ridiculous amount of snuggles with her wife.

Ahh. Her wife. Just the thought of her favorite blonde made her shoulders relax a little. Despite the reputation that Gail had carefully cultivated, Holly's wife was capable of great sentimentality. She was known as a snarky, badass cop to her colleagues, but to Holly, she was the best friend who had once found someone to make a giant, lunchbox-shaped pillow so Holly would have something to sleep with when she had to go to a two-week conference in Vancouver. (Holly never pointed out that, technically speaking, since "Lunchbox" was Gail's nickname for Holly, it was sort of like she was sleeping with herself. The thought was what counted and metaphorically accurate or not, once she had wrapped the pillow in Gail's unwashed sweatshirt, it made a workable substitute for her first choice.)

Now that she had peeled off her damp clothes, Holly began to wonder about the whereabouts of her wife. Gail had texted her a couple of hours ago to let her know she was headed home, but Holly had been so busy trying to salvage the rest of her day that she hadn't checked in since then.

"Gail?" Holly called into the otherwise silent house. "Are you here, Honey?"

She made her way up the stairs to see if the blonde had drifted off in their king-sized bed. Holly's day had been long, but Gail's week had been longer. New rookies and end-of-the-month quotas had landed Gail in bed before 10PM every night this week.

Holly walked into the bedroom and immediately saw Gail sitting cross-legged at the end of their bed, staring at one spot on the wall across from her. Holly noticed that her wife was wearing one of her flannel shirts and a pair of her yoga pants. Gail wasn't usually one to borrow Holly's clothes, but she brushed it off as Gail needing some extra comfort after a rough week.

"Hey Babe, how was the rest of your day? Mine was ridiculous. The power went out for ten minutes at four o'clock and I lost like ten pages of that paper I've been working on. And that was after I had to trek down a muddy trail to look at a body found by a jogger in the woods. And then McNally came over with a floater and talked about whether she and Sam should get a dog for over an hour. I mean, I know she's our friend, but she just kept talking and I was still wearing soggy socks and it was just too much."

Holly hadn't noticed that while she was changing out of her wet clothes and rattling off the details of her day, Gail hadn't moved an inch or made a single sound. In fact, she hadn't acknowledged her wife's presence at all.

"Gail?"

"Holly, I need you to stay calm." Gail still hadn't moved her eyes from that same spot on the wall.

"Um, ok. About what, Gail? Are you okay?" Now that she had noticed her wife's odd behavior, Holly was focused on determining the source. With Gail, it could be anything.

"Before I tell you, you have to promise you're not going to panic or pass out or start hyperventilating." Gail had finally adjusted her gaze to her hands, one thumb kneading the palm of the other hand nervously.

"Gail." Holly's tone had switched from curious to tense. The brunette made her way over to sit next to her wife. "What are you talking about? Did something happen at work?" Holly's mind began to race with possibilities. Had Gail gotten in trouble at work? Had one of her friends been in an accident? Had Gail gotten assigned to go undercover? Oh god...

With that thought, Holly jumped to her feet. "No. Gail, you can't. We agreed. You said you would tell them. What if...? I mean I know it hasn't worked yet, but it could and if you leave then we have to put everything on hold and that's just not fair..." Holly started to pace back and forth in front of Gail.

"Holly."

"And you have put in your time. Why can't they send someone else? McNally can go. They could send her and Sam together. They wouldn't even have to pretend to be a couple. They don't have a dog yet so it would be fine..."

"Holly." Gail tried again.

"You went undercover six months ago and you were gone for an entire month. And you got hurt because you had to tackle that three hundred pound guy and I didn't even know you were back until Oliver came to pick me up at the lab. And I don't want to pick you up at the hospital. Your shoulder still gets sore when it rains and next time it could be worse. You could get shot or stabbed or..."

"LUNCHBOX!" Gail didn't like yelling at Holly but her wife was working herself into a state of frenzy.

The tactic worked. Holly stopped talking and turned to look at Gail. "Just tell me." Her voice was filled with defeat and her eyes were beginning to shine with unshed tears.

"I'm not going undercover."

At that, Holly visibly sighed. The tension drifting away as she took her former seat next to Gail on the bed. "Thank god." She moved her glasses to the top of her head, slumped forward and put her face in her hands.

Gail grabbed one of Holly's hands and held it between both of her own. "But I do still have to tell you something and you have to promise you won't freak out like you just did about something that isn't even happening."

Holly looked up into her wife's icy blue eyes and felt that familiar panic begin to rise again. "Gail."

"Promise me, Holly."

Letting out a long breath while still trying to discern some clue from Gail's serious expression, Holly said, "I promise, I will try."

A few seconds of silence ticked passed while Gail tried to decide whether her wife was sufficiently calm.

"Gail, I need..."

"I'm pregnant."

"What? Can you repeat that?" Holly wanted to make sure she had heard correctly.

"I'm pregnant."

Hearing the words a second time caused Holly's eyes to go wide and her mouth to drop open slightly with a gasp.

Gail, still clutching her wife's hand, held her breath, waiting for a scream that didn't come. Instead, Holly just stared at Gail with a look of shock affixed to her face.

"Holly?" Gail needed some sort of response.

Instead of speaking, Holly just turned her head toward the wall, staring at the same spot Gail's eyes had been trained on just a couple of minutes ago. Gail couldn't take it anymore. Rambling she could handle. But silence? Holly wasn't the silent type and it was throwing the blonde off.

"LUNCHBOX! Say something!"

Holly jumped before turning to her wife, raising her hands to either side of Gail's face and leaning in for a long, sweet kiss. Gail sighed into the kiss because this was a part of Holly she could understand. This was a reaction she could deal with.

When her wife moved her hands so that they rested at the brunette's sides, Holly felt the tears returning to her eyes. She continued to kiss Gail while she moved one hand down from her wife's face to now rest on her wife's stomach. The gesture made Gail smile into the kiss.

Holly had never felt so happy. She couldn't believe this was happening and even more than that, she couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to her that this might be the news Gail needed to share. But Gail had told her two weeks ago that she had started her period. It's why she hadn't yelled when Gail had told her she had run after a knife-wielding suspect earlier in the week. She hated when Gail was in danger, but she knew that was part of the job. But if Gail had been pregnant when she did that? Wait. Oh god...

Holly suddenly pulled away from the kiss and looked at her wife with wild eyes while Gail just looked back questioningly. "You have to wear your vest." Holly grabbed her wife's hands and pulled them into her lap. "And you can't chase people with weapons. You have to let someone else do that. And you can't let the rookies drive when you are in the car with them. Or Dov. Dov can't drive. He is a good cop but you told me he always tries to get to a call first so he can make his mark. But you're pregnant and so you can't be making marks anymore."

"Holly." Gail shook her head with a slight smirk on her face. This was the freak out she had been anticipating.

Holly stood and started pacing again. "Do you wear your vest at the station? Because Sam got shot at the station once. And you can't touch hazardous chemicals. If you find another meth lab, you have to stay outside. Those chemicals are so dangerous. Maybe they will just let you work the desk until you go on maternity leave."

"Holly." Gail knew she was going to have to yell again but truth be told, her wife's rambling was adorable so she wasn't in any rush.

"I know that's like eight months away. Or really like nine because you're actually pregnant for ten months. But you'd be safer on the desk. Unless someone like Ford snuck in again. Oh god, you should wear your vest at the desk too. You can't die now. I mean you can't ever die, but especially now. And you can't get hurt either. Not even like little bruises or cuts. I mean normally those are ok because you didn't have our baby inside you, but now you're pregnant and..."

"LUNCHBOX!" Gail had to stop her wife before she descended into hyperventilation. She had learned that lesson the hard way.

Holly turned her face back toward her wife. "Gail. You're pregnant."

"Yeah, nerd. I'm aware." She could barely contain the laughter bubbling up inside of her as a result of the look of sheer terror on her wife's face.

"Gail. You're pregnant and you're a police officer."

"If you're trying to play two truths and a lie, you're gonna need to add in a lie. Also I think you're supposed to say things about yourself, not me. You really suck at this game. I thought you were a genius?"

Shaking her head quickly and once again taking a seat next to her wife, Holly said, "Gail, this isn't a joke. You have to be more careful."

"So what you're saying is I shouldn't have taught the rookie how to do donuts in the squad car today?"

"WHAT?! Gail, that's so dangerous, you could have..." Holly's eyes looked like they might explode at any second so Gail decided to take pity on her panicky wife.

"I'm joking, Holly." Gail couldn't keep the smile off her face. "How are we going to do donuts without ice on the roads? Duh." Holly was so gullible when it came to Gail's claims of reckless behavior.

Holly breathed a sigh of relief before bringing her hand to her forehead. "Oh my god. Gail, that's not funny at all. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Actually yes. With you gone, I will be free to name the kid whatever I want."

"Gail. I'm serious. You're pregnant. You're carrying our baby. You can't just run into burning buildings and tackle suspects like nothing has changed. You may not feel differently, but you have to think differently. You have to take care of yourself. If something were to happen…" Holly's thoughts started to circle back around to the worst-case scenarios.

"Nothing is going to happen. Women have been having babies for thousands of years. And now even delinquent teenagers have babies in high school bathrooms after eating Hot Pockets and Funyuns for nine months. If those idiots can do it, then I think I will be fine."

"Gail, those teenagers aren't dodging bullets and chasing junkies with knives through dark warehouses." Holly's voice had calmed considerably, but there was still an edge.

"That happened before I knew I was pregnant, Holly. How was I supposed to know women can still 'spot' while pregnant? One of the only perks of pregnancy is not having a period for nine months so that better have been a one time thing. And what was I supposed to do? Leave the rookie alone with a doped-up buffoon waving a weapon around? Even I don't hate Gerald that much." Gail was starting to get defensive. She was a police officer after all. It was her job.

Holly saw the shift in her wife's eyes and knew she had to keep Gail from shutting down. She grabbed the blonde's hands for the third time that night. "I know that, baby. I know. You were doing your job, which you are really, really good at. And I love that you're a badass cop who keeps me safe, chases bad guys and always has her partner's back. But things are different now. You have to protect that baby inside of you. You're the only one who can keep her safe right now. She needs you. You're her mom. And I need you. It sounds crazy, but I already love this baby and if anything were to happen to you or her, I don't know what I'd do, Gail. I can't handle that. So if anything, do it for me."

"Ugh, okay, Lunchbox. No need to start crying." Truth be told, Holly's tears were one of Gail's weaknesses. When the brunette looked so much as slightly misty, Gail's resolve on whatever subject immediately began to crumble. She couldn't stand for her wife to feel sad. "But I can't be on the desk for nine months. I will die of boredom and the only part of your tirade that I listened to was the part about how I shouldn't die. And also, we aren't supposed to tell anyone that I'm pregnant until the end of the first trimester and if I ask to work the desk, people are going to know. Pecks don't ride the desk, Holly."

Holly hastily wiped the tears that had escaped. "Ok, I'm not going to tell you when you have to start working the desk exclusively. I trust you. I know you will be smart and that you'll make good choices so that our baby stays right where she is until it's time for her to come out. Just promise me you will be extra careful? Please?"

Gail studied her hands for a couple of seconds.

"Gail?" Holly wasn't sure what was going through her wife's mind. A few more seconds passed without a peep from the cop.

"Gail?" Holly's heart was racing. What if Gail was about to shut down? What if she decided she didn't need to be more careful?

"GAIL! Please, say something!"

Gail finally looked up at Holly with a ornery grin on her face. "Ha! I just wanted you to know what it felt like. Of course, I promise, Lunchbox. No need to go nuclear on me."

"Oh my god, Gail." Holly put a hand over her chest in a half-hearted effort to calm the pounding. "Is there any way I could convince you to stay under our covers for the next nine months? I'm not sure my nerves are going to survive."

"Not a chance, Lunchbox. Plus this will be great preparation for when you have to start freaking out about me teaching the kid to do things like snowboard on trashcan lids or become a real life fruit ninja, complete with samurai sword."

Holly rolled her eyes. "I'm going to ignore that comment." The brunette reached over and took her wife in her arms, deciding to push away her fears in favor of the joy and love she felt for this sometimes careless woman. She pulled them down so that they were lying on the end of the bed, Holly's head in the hollow of Gail's neck, her hand rubbing soft circles on her wife's stomach.

"Holly?"

"Hmm?"

"Is it really ten months instead of nine?"

Holly could hardly contain her laughter. Of the many things the brunette had said, this was the part her wife had latched onto. "Yes, Honey. You will really be pregnant for ten months."

"Well that's just not right. Someone should have told me that. You should have told me that. You're a doctor, Holly! Someone should be sued for false advertising because I only agree to nine months of torture. Ten is just obscene. That's almost an entire year! I'm not happy about this Holly."

After chuckling into Gail's shoulder, Holly tried to offer some soothing words. "You will be fine. I will be here with you every step of the way. You won't be alone. I know you can do this."

Gail sighed. And for a couple of minutes after, the only sound either could hear was the rhythm of their collective breathing.

"Holly?" The blonde's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Hmm?"

"I'm pregnant." And this was a response Holly could understand. A slow recognition of all that had changed finally reaching her wife's mind, causing her to hiccup with the tears she was trying to keep inside.

Holly lifted her head to kiss her wife on the neck and then held Gail just a bit tighter. "I know, Baby. I know."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Well I decided to add another chapter. I have a few more ideas for chapters, but it may not be a long fic. Anyway, as always, I own nothing and I'm not a writer. Just having fun! Hope you enjoy.**

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It had been a couple of weeks since Holly and Gail had found out that Gail was pregnant. The blonde had shown very few signs of being pregnant, except for being a little more tired than normal. Holly had already started reading books and studies, trying to prepare herself for what to expect. She was a doctor, but pregnancy was definitely not her expertise. And of the two of them, Holly was the one who was expected to know things. To know if things were normal or if there was cause to worry. The brunette had yet to be tested on this knowledge until Gail was almost two and a half months pregnant.

They had been sleeping soundly, the alarm not set to go off for another hour. Holly felt Gail stirring but thought she was likely just having an intense dream. But Gail started to moan and then flew out of bed, heading for the master bathroom.

"Gail?" Holly sat up in bed, but was still slightly dazed. Then she heard the sound of her wife throwing up and realized what was happening. She made her way to the bathroom almost as quickly as Gail had. She made it just in time to see her wife heave a second time.

"Oh, baby." The brunette filled a cup with water and grabbed a towel. She sat down on the floor next to her wife and started rubbing the blonde's back.

"Ugh. I feel like my insides are doing somersaults."

"I'm sorry, sweetie. Here, drink some water." Holly continued to rub circles on her wife's back, trying to be as comforting as possible.

"I can't. Swallowing sounds like the worst idea ever right now. I'm pretty sure it would get rejected immediately. Holly, this is worse than being hung over. At least when you throw up after drinking too much, you feel better for a little while. But I feel just as nauseous as when I woke up."

"Well here's a towel if you want to wipe your mouth. You can rinse your mouth out even if you don't want to swallow. Is there anything else I can do? Do you want to move back to the bed? Do you want me to get you some crackers?" Holly felt helpless and hated to see her wife feeling so miserable.

"Ugh, don't talk about food. Ever again. Like until the baby is born. Because just the mention of it makes me want to vomit everything I've ever eaten. I think if I just sit here for the next seven months, I'll be okay." Gail took the glass of water, rinsed out her mouth and spit it into the toilet.

Holly rose up a little to flush the toilet and then sat next to her wife again. "I'll never mention it again. But you can't stay here forever. Why don't you let me help you back to the bed? You will be more comfortable there. We can bring the trashcan in case you need it."

"Ugh. Okay. The churning is starting to subside. Quick, let's go before it comes back." Gail used the side of the bathtub to help her stand up. As soon as she was upright, her head spun and she started to sway forward. Holly quickly grabbed her wife's shoulders in order to steady her.

"Oh god, are you okay? Do you feel dizzy? Do you need to sit back down? You need to drink some water." Holly went into worried-wife mode.

"I'm okay. I just got up too fast. I just want to get back in bed until I have to get ready for work." Gail started to move toward the door. Holly wrapped her arm around her wife's back and held on to her arm with her free hand.

"It's not terminal, nerd. It's just morning sickness. I will be okay."

"I know. I just don't want you to fall. You could hit your head. Maybe you should call in sick today."

As soon as Gail was sitting on the bed, Holly went back for the glass of water and brought the trashcan too.

"No, I can't stay home from work every time I get sick. I'm sure I will feel better in a little while. Stop worrying."

"Worrying is what I do. Even before you were pregnant. Now I just have a new tiny person to worry about. Here drink some water. Just a few sips."

Gail took the glass of water and took a very tiny sip. Her stomach, although not as bad, still felt a little squeamish so she set the glass on the nightstand. "I know. And I love that you want us to be safe, but you are a doctor. You know that morning sickness is completely normal and that plenty of women throw up every morning and then go to work."

Holly sighed and sat down next to her wife. She grabbed the blonde's hand. "I know. I just hate seeing you miserable and I wish there was something I could do."

"You are doing it now. Just be here. But just metaphorically because your alarm would have gone off about ten minutes ago so you need to get in the shower." At the look of hesitation on Holly's face, Gail continued, "Go. I'm fine and I'm just going to lay here until I have to get up to shower."

"Alright, but just yell if you need me, ok? I will be quick." Holly wanted to stay a little longer with her wife, but if she was going to make it in time for the department meeting at 8, she had to start getting ready now.

Holly finished showering and started getting ready. Gail, who was feeling better, started to make her way to the shower. Holly stopped drying her hair so she could watch her wife walk into the bathroom. She looked for any more signs of dizziness but didn't find any. Forty-five minutes later, Holly and Gail were sitting in their jeep outside the station.

"Alright, I'll see you later, babe. Go cut up some dead people." Gail leaned over, grabbed her wife's cheek and gave the brunette a kiss. After a few seconds, Holly leaned back and pulled the blonde's hand down into her lab.

"Nice. Are you sure you don't want to eat a granola bar? I put some in your bag."

"I'm not hungry yet, but thank you. I have to go so I don't miss parade. I love you. Stop worrying."

"Not possible. And I love you too. Be safe. Text me later, ok?" Holly wasn't sure why she felt so reluctant for Gail to leave. They did this every morning. And even though she always had a small amount of anxiety that lived in the back of her mind, she could usually keep it from affecting her emotions. Holly was glad that Gail had already turned to open the door because she didn't want her wife to see that her eyes were growing misty.

"Always. Bye, Lunchbox!" Gail called just before she shut the door.

Holly watched the blonde strut inside, something about putting on her uniform made Gail walk differently. More confidently. Holly took a deep breath and tried to summon some confidence of her own. The appearance of symptoms had somehow made the pregnancy seem more real to Holly. Her anxiety level was through the roof. But she was going to have to find a way to control these feelings because there were still seven more months to go.

Holly made her way to the lab and tried to focus on work. At her morning meeting, she took extra notes to keep her mind from wandering. Instead of delegating routine tasks to her intern, she performed them herself. She took her time on the autopsy of a suspicious death even though she knew ten minutes in that it had been an embolism. As much as she tried to keep her worries about her wife out of her mind, Holly could not stop imagining the paleness of her wife's face that morning. She hadn't heard from Gail all morning and even though she knew her wife was probably just busy, she couldn't help but worry about the possibilities.

By the time Holly had finished the autopsy and gotten the body back in cold storage, she had made up her mind. She had to talk to her wife. She knew she could just call, but she needed to see her. Gail had a habit of trying to keep Holly from worrying which meant downplaying any discomfort she may be feeling. Holly needed to see for herself that Gail was okay.

The brunette drove to the station and checked in at the front desk. She was making her way toward the detectives' desks to ask Traci if she knew where Gail was when she saw the blonde round the corner. Gail made that adorable confused face that always appeared when Holly showed up unexpectedly.

"Holly, hey. What are you doing here?" Gail stopped a couple of feet in front of her wife. As affectionate as she was outside the station, the blonde had a fairly strict 'no PDA at work' rule.

"Oh um, I needed to talk to Traci about a case. Give her some results from some tests." Holly averted her eyes. She wasn't very good at lying, but she was especially bad at lying to her wife.

Gail tilted her head, knowing that if she waited long enough, Holly would cave and tell her the truth.

"Okay fine. Come with me." Holly grabbed Gail's arm and lead her into the nearest interrogation room. Once the door was closed, Holly turned and gathered her wife into a hug.

After a few seconds, Gail said, "Holly, what's going on? Is everything okay?"

Without pulling away, Holly mumbled, "I lied about needing to talk to Traci."

Gail chuckled, "Yeah, I gathered that. So what's really going on?"

Holly pulled back and looked in her wife's eyes. The blonde looked a little tired, but the paleness from this morning was gone. The relief she felt came rushing out. "I was worried. I know you said you were okay, but I just kept seeing the image of your pale face from this morning. I was trying to distract myself with lab tests and taking twice as long on an autopsy, but I just needed to see you. I know we've known about you being pregnant for a while, but you haven't had any symptoms and you don't look any different so it hadn't really hit me. But then when you got sick this morning, it was real. You're carrying our baby and I just don't want anything to happen."

Gail was smiling now. "Holly, I'm fine. I promise. I didn't get a chance to text you because the damned computer in the evidence room decided to die so I had to do everything by hand and I just lost track of time. And as adorable as it is that you want to take care of me, we have seven more months to go. I don't want you to be constantly freaked out."

Holly put her hand on Gail's chest. "I know. I promise I'm not going to show up here every day. I think I just needed to see that you were really okay. I'm not ever going to stop worrying completely, but soon it will be normal that you're pregnant. But right now it's still new so I'm being a little crazy."

"You're not being crazy. Okay, you're being a little crazy. But it's alright. I will try to text you more often so you know that I'm okay. Will that help?" Gail was holding her wife's shoulders now.

"Yeah, that would make me feel better. Just promise you won't hide anything from me ok? If you're sick, I want to know. Even if it's not a big deal, I still want to know."

"I promise. Any time I smell ground beef and vomit in the break room trashcan, I will let you know."

Holly smirked, "Ground beef, huh? Is that new?"

"Yeah, let's not talk about it. As soon as we're telling people, I'm going to threaten to de-pants Dov if he doesn't stop cooking in the break room."

"Gotcha. Okay well I'm going to go back to work now. Thanks for letting me be crazy." Holly turned toward the door, but then remembered a question she hadn't asked yet. "Oh, did you eat your granola bar?"

"Lunchbox. You're being crazy again." At Holly's warning look, Gail confessed, "Not yet. I got busy and didn't feel hungry. I'm going to eat lunch in about an hour though. And lucky for you, after this morning, I really don't want anything heavy or greasy so I'll probably get a salad."

"Ok good. Just make sure you eat lunch." Holly stopped to look at her wife. She loved this woman. She loved that she could freak out and hover and Gail didn't feel threatened or annoyed. Holly wrapped both arms around her wife's neck and pulled her in for a kiss.

After a few seconds, the brunette pulled away and whispered. "I love you, you know that?"

Gail smiled, gave her wife one more peck on the lips and then whispered back, "Yeah nerd, I know. Me too.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: What I know about crime and pregnancy, I learned from TV and the Interwebs. So basically, I wouldn't take the time to fact check this :)**

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Over the next week, Gail continued to get sick every morning and often in the afternoon as well. Things that had never bothered her before now repulsed her. Any and all food was unappealing and certain smells sent her flying to the nearest bathroom. She was working overtime to keep her nausea a secret, not wanting to answer questions about why her normally iron stomach had become increasingly sensitive. She and Holly had agreed that they didn't want to share the news of the pregnancy until the risk of miscarriage was much smaller.

Holly was still concerned that Gail was so sick, but she had taken comfort in books and studies that only confirmed what she already knew: morning sickness was normal. And Gail had been true to her promise to check in with Holly and to keep her informed on how she was feeling. Even though she was glad to be kept up-to-date, the brunette hated when she got a text from her wife that informed her yet again of her wife's continued misery.

**Wife:** :(

**Lunchbox:** Again?

**Wife:** I swear when we are telling people, anyone who wears cologne in the squad is going to get a nightstick to the Adam's apple.

**Lunchbox:** That bad eh?

**Wife:** I stopped at a mini mart and forced Chris to go in for chap stick and then opened my door and threw up as soon as he was out of sight. I'm not sure what type of wildlife he is trying to attract with his cologne, but even skunks would label it a turn off.

**Lunchbox:** I'm sorry, honey. I wish I could help.

**Wife:** Don't worry. I just decided that I'm not going to throw up anymore.

**Lunchbox:** Oh really? How well do you think that will work?

**Wife:** Oh it will work. The only other alternative is just not being pregnant anymore.

**Lunchbox:** Let's not discuss that option. Mind over matter it is. Have you eaten today?

**Wife:** I did have a granola bar in my stomach for 30 minutes. Does that count?

**Lunchbox:** :( No. You need to eat something. And drink a sports drink of some kind to replace your electrolytes.

**Wife:** I will get right on that. Directly after I feast on a bowl of tomatoes. And eggs.

**Lunchbox:** Gail.

**Wife:** :) Must go serve and protect!

**Lunchbox:** Eat something! I mean it. And be safe.

**Wife:** Never fear. I shall serve my city by bravely giving tickets to the idiots who can't be bothered to use their turn signals.

**Lunchbox:** Traffic duty. Can't say I'm sad about that.

**Wife:** I thought as much. Talk to you later. Love you.

**Lunchbox:** Still be careful though. And eat! I love you too!

Holly was worried about how often Gail was getting sick. She knew morning sickness was normal, but it wasn't normal to not be able to eat or drink anything at all. The brunette's anxious thoughts were cut short when her office phone rang, alerting her to a dead body at a dry cleaner in Rosedale.

Few things shocked Holly anymore, but the smell inside the dry cleaner gave the brunette pause. At least 10 bottles of industrial dry-cleaning chemicals had been emptied around the small room in the back of the business. Emptied wasn't exactly the appropriate word. It was clear that something violent had happened in that room. The bottles had been casualties of what had appeared to be a vicious fight. The body in the middle of the floor had been beaten beyond recognition. There was a large pool of blood around the victim but there was also a trail of destruction scattered throughout the room. The floor was coated in liquid and still giving off a nauseating stench. Holly reached in her bag and pulled out a mask which she quickly affixed to her face in an effort to lessen the effects of the chemicals.

"Looks like this guy was on the losing end of the fight, huh?" Holly quipped to Traci, who was holding a handkerchief to her nose and mouth.

Traci pulled the cloth away to answer, "Yeah, someone was definitely not happy with him. According to his ID badge, he's the owner of this place. Glad that stayed on because his face is too smashed up to recognize him."

"We will verify with DNA just in case someone was trying to be clever and switch their badges around." Holly was taking samples from the blood on the floor when she heard a familiar voice just outside the door.

"Good god, what is that smell? Did someone drown themselves in a bathtub filled with rubbing alcohol? Why exactly did we get called in for this?" Gail was clearly not happy about entering an establishment that was even more saturated by an odor than her squad was with Chris's cologne.

Holly's hand froze as soon as she heard her wife's voice. She felt a shock of cold fear shoot through her chest and immediately rose to her feet just as the blonde was about to cross the threshold to the room. "Gail, no! You can't come in here!"

"What? Holly what are you…" Gail barely had time to process that her wife was yelling before the brunette started up again.

"I mean it! Get out of here right now!" Holly's mind was fixated on the safety of her wife. She knew she wasn't communicating this in the best way, but she couldn't think clearly. Panic had taken over and turned her usually kind disposition into a rather abrasive and controlling one.

"Don't tell me what to do! I'm doing my job!" Gail wasn't sure where this outburst came from. Her wife never raised her voice, even when she was angry. The blonde did not respond well to yelling and Holly knew that.

"GAIL, NOW!" With that, Holly stripped off her gloves, walked over to her wife, grabbed her by the arm and practically forced her out of the room. Every pair of eyes in the room was fixed on the couple. They had never seen Holly lose her cool like that.

As soon as they were out on the sidewalk, Gail started doing her own screaming.

"Holly, what the hell?! What is wrong with you? You can't treat me like that at a crime scene! I'm a cop!"

"Gail, I'm sorry…" In the short time it had taken to walk outside, Holly had realized she had made a big mistake.

Gail continued to rant, "I mean what were you thinking?! Traci and Chris saw that! They are going to think I am whipped!"

Holly was trying to squeeze a word in, but Gail was wound up now. "Gail, if you just let me explain…"

"No. I can't talk to you right now! Tell Chris I went to go canvas the neighborhood." Gail had started to walk down the street.

"You shouldn't go alone." No matter how angry Gail was, Holly couldn't stop trying to protect her.

Without even turning around, Gail shouted, "Leave it, Holly!"

After taking a few moments to collect herself and come up with an explanation for her outburst, the brunette walked back inside. Everyone tried to pretend they weren't watching her out of the corner of their eyes, but their sudden silence gave them away. Holly ignored them and kept walking until she reached the back room. Walking up to Chris, but without looking in his eyes, she said, "Officer Diaz. Officer Peck went to canvas the neighborhood. She was headed toward the restaurant next door, if you'd like to join her."

"Um thanks. I'm supposed to stay with the body though so…" Chris was hesitant. He didn't want Holly to take out whatever had just happened with Gail on him.

"Chris, it's fine. Go find Gail and make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. I will take care of this." Traci was talking to Chris, but she was studying Holly's body language.

"Sure thing, Traci." Chris turned and hurried out the door, thankful to not be party to the awkwardness any longer.

When the detective and the doctor were alone, Traci proceeded carefully, trying to discern what was going on with her friends. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just…that was stupid. I didn't want her to contaminate evidence in case we could find something near the door. I overreacted. I've been stressed lately and I took it out on her. I shouldn't have yelled." She hoped Traci was buying her cover story.

"Not that I'm questioning you, but why didn't you freak out about Chris coming in. It sounded like you were worried specifically about Gail not coming in."

"I just…I saw Gail first." Holly was getting nervous now. She should have known a detective would poke holes in her story.

"Okay, Holly. Clearly something is going on, but it's obvious you don't want to talk about it right now so I won't pry. But know I'm around if you need to talk."

"Thanks, Traci." The doctor let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"So how mad was Gail?" Traci was smiling now.

"I think I saw smoke coming out of her ears. She doesn't respond well to yelling. I didn't mean to. It just came out and then she walked off before I could explain." Holly was rubbing her forehead now. She hated fighting with her wife.

"She'll cool off. Just give her a little space."

"Yeah, I will. Ok so let's get the liver temp and then get the body back to the lab for more answers."

* * *

Down the street, Gail was still fuming. When Chris had showed up looking sympathetic, the blonde had simply held up her hand and said, "don't." And he didn't. They asked questions of those at surrounding businesses and then headed back to the station to report back to Traci.

The cop's anger was soon replaced by exhaustion. She felt as if she was running on fumes. Even though she knew she should eat something or drink a sports drink like Holly had told her to, she was still too upset with her wife to heed any of her orders.

After checking in with Traci, Gail and Chris headed to the break room. The blonde had a granola bar she was going to attempt to choke down and Chris was cutting up an apple.

"Why can't you just eat the apple like a normal person?" The blonde was standing at the counter, working up the energy to open her snack.

Not looking up from the chopping, "I used to cut up apples for Christian and I just got in the habit. I guess it reminds me of him and the short period where I thought I was a dad."

"Ok, Steel Magnolias, easy on the melancholy."

"Hey, you were the one who asked – ow! Oh shoot. I cut myself." Chris held his hand up to inspect the wound.

Gail turned her head at her partner's exclamation. Her eyes landed on Chris's finger and the blood that was now running down his hand. Something about the sight and the smell of the blood made her head swim. Her vision started to cloud over and she gripped the counter for support.

"Chris, I don't feel so…" She never completed the sentence because her vision went entirely black and she swayed backward. Luckily Chris had heard her muddled statement and had reached out just in time to catch the blonde and ease her to the floor.

* * *

She could not stop thinking about the fight she'd had with her wife. Holly felt a weight on her chest that she knew would not be lifted until she was able to make up with Gail. She hadn't heard anything from the cop since the fight. The silence was particularly difficult because her wife had been so diligent over the last week about regularly checking in. Holly had tried sending several texts.

**Lunchbox:** Gail, I'm sorry. Please call me.

**Lunchbox:** Honey, I'm sorry I yelled. Please let me explain.

**Lunchbox:** Please acknowledge existence?

After several hours and still no response, Holly had started to worry. She knew Gail was upset, but she usually didn't freeze her out like this. Just as she was about to pick up the phone to call her wife, the doctor's cell phone rang. She picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

"Gail?" Holly knew her voice sounded desperate, but she didn't care.

"Holly, hey. This is Traci."

Holly's heart sank. "Oh hi, Traci. I don't have any results from the dry cleaning murder yet."

"No, that's ok. I'm actually calling about Gail."

"Is she still upset? She won't answer my texts. I was just about to call her."

"Well this isn't about your argument. I'm calling because Gail passed out about an hour ago?"

"What?! Oh my god, is she okay? What happened?" Now Holly wished she had called Gail earlier. The mixture of panic and guilt was making the doctor's heart race.

"She's fine. She's here at the station and we had a medic check her out. She came to after a few seconds and Chris caught her before she hit the floor."

"Thank god. Can you put her on so I can talk to her?" Hearing her wife's voice was the only thing that would ease her tension.

"Well that's the bad news. She told me not to call you."

"What? Why would she do that?" Holly's relief at her wife being okay was short-lived. Now she felt angry. How could Gail try to keep this from her?

"She was embarrassed that she fainted and I think she was still pretty upset about earlier. But I thought you needed to know."

"Thank you, Traci. I will come over right now. Don't let her leave." Holly was already taking off her lab coat and gathering her purse and keys.

"No problem. And don't worry, I took her keys away so she's not going anywhere. She's laying on a cot in the locker room."

"Good thinking. I'm on my way."

Panic. Guilt. Confusion. Terror. These were just a small sampling of the emotions the doctor was currently experiencing. She couldn't understand why Gail would tell Traci not to call her. She had fainted, for god's sake. Her pregnant wife had fainted. The mental image caused Holly to pause before opening her car door and momentarily close her eyes with fear. What if something was wrong? She shook her head and decided not to entertain the thought. She just needed to see her wife.

When Holly arrived at the station, she made a beeline for the locker room. As soon as she walked through the door, she called out a bit frantically, "Gail? Are you in here?"

"Mmm." The sound had come from a nook just behind the main row of lockers. Holly could see that Gail was lying on a cot, wrapped up in one of those emergency blankets. The brunette made her way over and sat down on the floor next to her wife's head. She reached her hand out and placed it on Gail's shoulder.

"Gail? Are you okay? Why do you have an emergency blanket?"

"Yes, Holly. I'm fine. I have an emergency blanket because I was cold and we were fresh out of chenille." Gail's responses were terse. She was definitely not over her anger.

"Traci told me you passed out. Are you still feeling dizzy?" Holly was too relieved that she was touching her wife to care that the blonde was acting so petulant.

"Traci is a traitor. She wasn't supposed to call you."

"Gail, I know you're mad at me, but it isn't fair for you to faint and then tell our friends not to call me. I, for one, am glad that Traci isn't afraid of your threats."

"You yelled at me. For no reason." Gail's voice had turned timid, filled with hurt.

Holly reached one arm across her wife's middle and continued to grip her shoulder with the other. "I know. I'm really sorry, sweetie. I feel terrible. I just panicked when you walked in."

"You never yell. It made me feel small in front of my friends. And I was just trying to do my job."

The blonde's face was covered by the blanket, but Holly could tell from her shaking voice that her wife was on the verge of tears. The brunette moved her hand up to pull down the blanket and then caressed her wife's cheek. "I know you were. I'm really sorry. Listen. That room? It was covered in dry cleaning chemicals. I mean the air was saturated. And those chemicals are really harmful to pregnant women. They can cause birth defects or even miscarriage after extended exposure…"

"What?!" Gail turned to look at her wife, her eyes wide with concern.

Holly started rubbing her thumb over her wife's cheek. "It's ok, honey. You weren't in there long enough to hurt the baby. But as soon as I heard your voice, I couldn't think straight. The only thing going through my mind was that I had to keep you from coming in that room. My protective instinct came out as panicked yelling and I'm very sorry for that. I just had to get you out of there."

"So the baby will be okay? It's not going to come out with two heads or a tail or something right?"

"No, sweetie. You're fine. Well not exactly fine because you fainted. What happened?" The doctor noticed that her wife's face still looked paler than normal.

"Chris cut himself with the tiniest knife ever and his finger started bleeding. When I looked at it, my head started spinning and I just blacked out. It was mortifying. I woke up with my head in his lap." Gail closed her eyes and covered her face with one hand.

"I'm glad he was there to catch you. If you had fallen and hit your head, it could have been bad. Trust me, I already considered all the scenarios and your head landing in Chris's lap was one of the better options." Holly's pulled her wife's hand from her face and held it.

"Yeah, I guess. It was still humiliating."

"Well once they know you're pregnant, they will understand. So what did the medic say? I think we should go to the hospital just to be safe."

"No! We don't need to go to the hospital. I have that appointment on Monday. And anyway, the medic said that it had just been too long since I had eaten something substantial."

"Wait, how long has it been since you ate a meal?"

"Um…like…three days?" Gail squinted her eyes in anticipation of her wife's reaction.

"Gail! Three days?! You told me you were eating! No wonder you passed out." Holly was squeezing her wife's hands now.

"Well, technically, I did eat. It's just that my meals consisted of granola bars that I promptly threw up. Nothing else sounded good and I wasn't ever hungry." Gail was purposefully sounding whiny in an effort to earn some sympathy.

"Granola bars definitely do not count as a meal, especially if you throw them up immediately. Gail, you should have told me." With the last sentence, the brunette closed her eyes and shook her head.

"I know. I just didn't want you to worry. I thought I would feel better in a few days."

Holly gave Gail her signature crooked smile. "Honey, I appreciate that, but I'm not going to stop worrying. You're pregnant, you're a cop and you attract trouble. I'm going to worry. But not knowing things freaks me out way more than dealing with the truth. You have to tell me things. We're in this together."

"I'm sorry." Gail looked sheepish and averted her eyes.

"And you can't tell people not to call me. That's not allowed."

"Yeah, ok."

"Gail. I'm serious. How would you feel if I told my coworkers not to call you if I fainted in the lab?"

"You wouldn't do that because you know I'd murder your entire staff." Even the thought of Holly getting hurt and her not knowing about it, made Gail's cheeks burn.

"Well, now you know how I feel. Never again, Gail. It doesn't matter how mad you are at me. No matter what happens, I need to know. I deserve to be there with you. I have to be there." Holly moved one of her hands under the blanket to cover her wife's stomach.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just hate how much you worry. But I promise I won't keep things from you. If it makes you feel better, you were the only person I wanted to talk to when I woke up in Chris's lap." Gail moved one of her own hands down to cover Holly's.

"Aww. It does actually. I'm so glad you're okay. I never get used to getting calls about you being hurt. My heart stops every single time." Holly closed her eyes, trying to block out the memories.

The blonde sat up and held her wife's face in both her hands. "I know. I'm sorry. But I'm really okay."

"You better be. Cause I need you, you know that?"

"Yeah, nerd, I know." Gail leaned in for a quick kiss and then dropped her hands to Holly's shoulders. "Can we go home now?"

"Yes, please. You're going to eat as soon as we get there."

"Ugh. Gross. Food is the worst, Holly." Gail crossed her arms to emphasize her pout.

"I will make you whatever you want, but you have to eat at least half of whatever I put on your plate."

"I am not agreeing to that."

Holly reached one hand up to Gail's face to rub her cheek. "Gail, my love, this is not a negotiation. You fainted. Because you haven't eaten a meal in _three _days."

"Ugh fine. But you better be glad no one is in here to hear you bossing me around because after this morning, they are already not going to let me hear the end of it."

"I really am sorry. But let me remind you that you told your friends not to call me after my _pregnant_ wife fainted."

Gail flashed her biggest, most charming smile. "I love you?"

Holly chuckled and held her wife's hands in her own. "Yeah well you're lucky I love you too and can't imagine what I'd do if anything happened to you because otherwise I'd kill you."

Gail pretended to protectively cover her stomach, but didn't let go of her wife's hands. "Remember the baby, Holly."

Holly rose to her feet, helping Gail to stand up as well. "Trust me, honey, the two of you never leave my mind." The doctor moved her hands down to her wife's hips. "You okay? Feel dizzy at all?"

"Relax, Lunchbox, I'm fine." Gail started to move toward the door, pulling her wife by the hand.

"Ok, but tell me if you start to feel light-headed." Holly turned her head to inspect the blonde's face, looking for any signs that she might not be as fine as she claimed.

"If I say yes, can I drive?" With a hopeful smile on her face, Gail turned to look at her wife.

The doctor's face softened and she smiled warmly at her love. "Not a chance, sweetie."

Gail huffed, but still held Holly's hand as they walked out of the room together.


	4. Chapter 4

The remainder of the week had passed without incident. Mostly because Holly checked in every day to make sure Gail had eaten actual meals. And Gail found that having something in her stomach made her feel less nauseous, which meant she was keeping the meals down. She still threw up every morning, but once per day was far better than three or four.

When Friday rolled around, Gail was feeling far less miserable so she agreed to meet her friends at the Penny after shift. She knew Holly had some paperwork to catch up on, but she hoped her wife would be able to join them later. Before heading inside the bar, Gail sent her wife a text.

**Wife:** I'm headed to the Penny to hang out with the losers. You gonna be able to join us later?

**Lunchbox:** Such a lovely term to use for your friends. And yes, I should be out of here in an hour or so.

**Wife:** Just because they're my friends doesn't mean they aren't also losers. I have a random question?

**Lunchbox:** If this is about lesbian habits, you are one now so you don't need me to answer those.

**Wife:** Don't put me in a box, Holly. Besides I'll never be as gay as you. I don't own any flannel.

**Lunchbox:** And yet you sleep in mine any time I'm out of town.

**Wife:** ANYWAY…is it true that pregnant women in France drink wine sometimes?

**Lunchbox:** I'm afraid to answer this question. Why do you want to know?

**Wife:** Edification, Holly.

**Lunchbox:** Doubtful. But the answer is yes. French women do drink more wine while pregnant than women in other countries.

**Wife:** And does this increase in wine consumption cause a larger amount of birth defects in France?

**Lunchbox:** Gail…I know where this is going and the answer is no.

**Wife:** But the French do it! And there are no significant studies that prove that mild alcohol consumption has negative effects on babies.

**Lunchbox:** So you've already researched this, I see.

**Wife:** I know how to google, Holly.

**Lunchbox:** The answer is still no.

**Wife:** I wasn't exactly asking for permission.

**Lunchbox:** Ok well, I will leave the health of our unborn baby in your hands. If you feel like birth defects are a risk you are willing to take for a glass of wine, then go for it.

**Wife:** Mad face.

**Lunchbox:** You know there's an emoticon for that, right?

**Wife:** I was too mad to look for it.

**Lunchbox:** Well, I'm sorry you're mad. I just love you. I hope you can still have fun with your friends.

**Wife:** Doubtful.

Holly didn't think Gail was really angry. After all, Gail had to have known that she wouldn't say it was ok for Gail to drink alcohol while pregnant. As a doctor, she knew the studies about mild alcohol consumption during pregnancy didn't show any measurable harm, but when it came to her own wife and child, she preferred to stay on the safe side. But Holly did have a few minutes of nagging doubt about how upset Gail was until her phone buzzed one more time.

**Wife:** Heart U

Holly smiled at the text. The two had an agreement to always respond when one said "I love you". It helped to keep any insecurities from festering, which was particularly important when considering Gail's history of letting her doubts get the best of her.

Holly tapped out a quick reply and then hurried to finish her work for the night.

**Lunchbox:** Thank you, my love. Heart you more!

* * *

Still brooding over her inability to drink any alcohol, Gail walked into the Penny. As she made her way toward the table in the back that she and her friends normally claimed, she thought about the text conversation with Holly. She knew that her wife would not want her to drink while pregnant, but in all honesty, Gail hadn't really intended to drink anyway. She had just hoped that Holly would respond with some knowledge of a new study that said it was healthy to drink wine while pregnant. Gail had already done research, but she was hoping against hope that her genius wife would know something that she hadn't found. She wasn't willing to put the baby at risk, but she'd be lying if she said she wouldn't like to take the edge of the week off.

When she strolled up to the table, Gail noticed that Dov was holding his glass in the air while Traci, Chris and Andy watched.

"Gail! You are just in time for my toast! Today is Chris's third year being clean and sober. First drink is on me. Want your usual?" Dov stood from his chair, gesturing toward the bar.

"Well way to go loser. Glad you figured that mess out. I'll just go grab something from the bar." When Dov started to protest, Gail just held up her hand and started walking away. Dov knew better than to try to force his chivalry on her.

After waiting a couple of minutes for the bartender to come over, Gail put in her order. "I'll have white grape juice in a wine glass."

With a confused look on his face, the bartender responded, "White wine?"

"Is that what I said? White grape juice in a wine glass. Do you need to write that down?"

Realizing it was better not to ask questions, the bartender poured her drink, took the cash and quickly moved to the next customer. The blonde returned to her friends with a grin on her face.

Eying her glass, Andy asked, "Since when do you drink white wine at the Penny?"

Gail snapped back, "Since I felt like it, McNally. Do you want to write a paper about it?"

Holding up her hand and laughing, "Nope." Andy knew better than to take Gail's caustic response to heart. She knew it was the blonde's defense mechanism.

Over the next hour, Dov made his toast, Chris blushed a lot and Gail refused to let anyone refresh her drink for her, including the waitress.

* * *

Holly's paperwork had taken much longer than she had intended. By the time the brunette arrived at the Penny, Gail had already been there for over two hours. For once she was hoping pregnancy symptoms would cause her wife to feel tired and ready to head home. All Holly wanted was to curl up on the couch in her pajamas with Gail, a movie and a cup of tea.

Winding her way toward the back of the bar, Holly thought she heard Gail's voice, even over the substantial crowd. When she was a few feet away from the table, she verified that she was correct. Gail was standing next to the high top, holding a wine glass in the air, swaying back and forth while singing very loudly to whatever was playing on the jukebox.

"Baby you're firework…come on let your flowers burn…HOLLY!" Gail had seen her wife approaching and stopped singing long enough to shout a hello. "Lunchbox, you came juss in time! Traci's gonna show me how how to Doogie!"

"I think she means Dougie, but I definitely do not know how to do that dance. Someone mentioned dancing and she just fixated on learning the Dougie. Although she has been slurring the pronunciation for about an hour."

With wide eyes and cheeks starting to flush with anger, Holly spat out "Has she been drinking? How much has she had? Is she drunk?"

Dov spoke up, barely registering how upset the doctor was. "Well she's been drinking white wine all night. I think she's on her fifth or sixth glass maybe? I don't know, I lost track."

Holly turned to Gail and took the wine glass out of her hands. "Gail! What is wrong with you? You aren't supposed to drink!"

Screwing up her face, Gail said "Lunchbox, I feel sick. Lez go to the bathroom". She stood up and started to stumble toward the back of the bar.

Holly put down the glass and grabbed her wife's arm. As soon as they walked through the door to the bathroom, she turned to face the blonde. "I can't believe you were drinking! I know I said it was up to you, but I really didn't think you would do something so dumb! Have you heard of fetal alcohol syndrome?"

"Holly…" Gail tried to cut in.

"I mean seriously. You're pregnant! And you're not even out of the first trimester! Do you know how much damage you could do to the baby? What is wrong with you?"

Gail put her hand over Holly's mouth. "Holly! I wasn't drinking and I am definitely not drunk."

"Wait what? Dov said you'd had 6 glasses of wine. And you were slurring your words and singing." Holly scrunched her eyes in confusion.

"I was drinking white grape juice in a wine glass. I didn't want to answer questions about why I wasn't drinking. And I was really thirsty so I kept getting refills, but if I had drank that much actual wine, I would be super drunk so I just played the part. You know I sing when I'm drunk."

Holly put her thumb and forefinger on her eyelids under her glasses. "God, Gail. I was ready to kill you. I'm sorry, I should have known you wouldn't do something like that. You are really good at pretending to be drunk."

Gail smiled and stood a little taller. "I am aren't I? I saw your neck turning red like it does when you're really mad so that's why I pretended I was gonna barf."

"Good plan. Next time maybe you should text me before I arrive so I know my pregnant wife is just pretending to be drunk." Holly crossed her arms and looked at the ground.

"Hey, I'm sorry, but come on. You didn't really think I was going to get drunk while I was pregnant did you?"

"No, I know you wouldn't. I guess, I just thought after our text conversation that maybe you were mad that I had said no and you…I don't know."

"I'm going to try to not be offended by the fact that you thought I would risk the health of our baby just to spite you."

"I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't do that. I just…I know I've been freaking out a lot. It's just hard sometimes knowing that something could happen to you and the baby and there's nothing I can do about it. I love that you are pregnant. I love that you are carrying our baby, but I sometimes wish it was me."

Gail slipped her hands onto her wife's hips. "Holly. Why didn't you say something?"

Holly put her hands on Gail's arms, but continued to look at the floor. "Because most of the time, I love that you are the one that is pregnant. I love taking care of you and I'm so excited for you to get a little baby bump. But you've been so sick lately and I hate it when you're sick because I just feel so helpless. And when you go to work, I know that you could get hurt. And I know you're being careful, but something could happen that you can't stop and I try not to think about it, but sometimes it's just hard."

"Holly. We talked about this before we started trying to get pregnant. You said you were ok with me having the first one."

"I am ok with it. I really am. I just didn't realize how worried I was going to be. I mean I always worry about you, even before you were pregnant. But now that you're carrying our baby, it's like I can't stop thinking of all the things that could go wrong. Most of the time I can keep my emotions under control, but other times, it's like I can't think clearly and I just react."

Gail reached up to tilt Holly's chin so she was looking into her wife's eyes. "Hey, it's ok. I'm not the easiest person to be married to. Sometimes I'm reckless and even when I'm trying to be careful it seems like I have really bad luck. But I am doing my best to take care of this baby."

Holly shook her head and cupped Gail's cheek. "I know you are. I don't want you to think I don't trust you. None of this is because I don't think you are being safe. I just don't want anything to happen to you. And even though that's always true, something about you being pregnant has heightened my anxiety level."

"I think you're forgetting that I'm a badass, Holly." Gail smirked.

Holly chuckled, glad to feel the tension ease a bit. "Oh I could never forget that."

"Seriously though, I'm going to be fine. The baby is going to be fine. Do you want me to go on desk duty now?"

"As much as I want to say yes, I know that will make you miserable. And I don't want my irrational fears to keep you from being happy. I'm just probably going to be a little crazy until the baby is born. Think you can put up with me?" Holly smiled and wrapped her arms around the blonde.

"Maybe. As long as you promise to go get my cheese puffs at 3 am when I'm fat and cranky."

"Deal. So are you ready to go home? I just want to snuggle with you on the couch."

"Yep. I'm exhausted. Pretending to be drunk is really tiring." Gail leaned in to kiss Holly, running her fingers through the brunette's hair at the same time.

Holly pulled away and looked into her wife's blue eyes. "I'm sorry I thought you were drinking. I should have known better."

"I forgive you. Only because when you're pregnant someday, I know I will be crazy protective." Gail grabbed her wife's hand and made her way toward the door.

She stopped and turned to look at Holly with a very serious look on her face. "Alright don't be alarmed. I am going to act super drunk again when we walk by my friends."

"Hilarious." Holly put her arm around Gail's shoulders and started to lead her toward the exit.

Gail pretended to stumble as she approached the table where her friends were laughing at something Traci was saying.

Chris saw the couple and stopped laughing long enough to address them. "Oh hey, Holly. Is she ok? Sorry we let her drink so much."

"It's fine, Chris. I'm just going to take her home. See you guys later." Holly reached over to grab Gail's purse.

"Wake up in the morning feelin' like P Diddy…Guys I'm gonna change my name to Kesha, but not with the dollar sign cause I'm poor. Except Holly makes a lot of money so she's my sugar mama." Gail was swaying as Holly started to lead her away.

"Ok that's enough. Let's go." Holly patted Gail on the back and led her away. As soon as they were out of earshot, Holly leaned over and whispered, "You really are good at that."

"Badass, Lunchbox. I'm a badass."

* * *

**Author's Note: First, I don't condone drinking while pregnant. But I did find that the studies are mixed on whether an occasional drink is harmful for pregnant women. Seems like something Gail would ask about, but not follow through on. And Holly might seem a little crazy, but it doesn't seem too far a stretch to me considering she showed up freaked out about Gail's safety even before they were dating and then showed up again that same day just to make sure she was ok. If I had a pregnant wife who was a cop, I think I'd be freaked to.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: More drama in this chapter. Pretty much every chapter will have drama. It's just what my brain thinks of. Anywho, thanks to all who have read and commented. Enjoy!**

* * *

The weekend had passed without much to report. Gail had gotten sick each morning, but both of them having the days off meant she could milk it for all it was worth. Holly was right by her wife's side providing wet towels, crackers and a comforting touch. She made the blonde stay in bed or on the couch, insisting on waiting on her for whatever she needed.

By the time Sunday evening rolled around, Gail was feeling rested and loved while Holly was glad to have had time with her wife to see she was (mostly) healthy. That night they fell asleep in each other's arms, Holly placing one hand over Gail's stomach, which always made the blonde grin.

Several hours into what had been a peaceful slumber, Holly was awoken by a noise next to her. Thinking that maybe it was morning already, she mumbled, "Are you nauseous, honey?" But the reply she received wasn't words or even a groan, instead she heard a whimpering cry. Suddenly very alert, the brunette rolled over to find her wife curled up in the fetal position with her arms wrapped firmly around her middle while she rocked back and forth.

Concerned that Gail was in pain, Holly asked, "Sweetie, are you okay?"

When the blonde didn't respond, Holly noticed that between whimpers, her wife was panting and mumbling.

"No don't….please…I can't."

Having dealt with Gail's nightmares in the past, Holly recognized the signs and knew what to do. The brunette encircled her wife with her arms and began to gently jostle her awake.

"Gail, wake up. It's just a dream. I'm here and you're okay. Come on, baby, wake up."

"No, no, no…please no." After Holly shook her a little harder and spoke a little louder, Gail jolted awake, sitting straight up in the bed.

"HOLLY!" The blonde immediately started searching the room for her wife, not quite realizing where she was.

Holly sat up and grabbed Gail's hands. "I'm right here, love"

After realizing her wife was right next to her, Gail practically tackled Holly with a hug, wrapping her arms around her and digging her head into her wife's chest.

"Hey, you're okay. Take some deep breaths for me. You're still breathing really hard. You're safe and I'm here."

Gail listened to her wife's instructions and inhaled deeply, but what came out was a sob. The blonde buried her face deeper into her wife's chest and continued to cry for several minutes while Holly tried to comfort her.

"Honey, what's the matter? You're okay. It was just a dream. You're safe. You are here with me and I'm not going anywhere."

With those last words, Gail only wept harder and squeezed her wife tighter. Holly continued to hold the blonde, but began to worry. Gail had had many nightmares in the past, but she usually took a few minutes to talk about it and then went right back to sleep. Sometimes she would get up and run on their treadmill to help clear her mind of whatever dark images she had seen. But Gail had never cried, let alone wept, after a nightmare.

"Gail, sweetie, I need you to breathe. You're going to start hyperventilating and I need that to not happen. Just listen to the sound of my heart and copy my breathing ok?"

Gail didn't speak, but she nodded her head. She concentrated on the rhythm of her wife's breaths and tried to slow her own to match. Focusing on the familiar smell of her wife's skin, the blonde began to regain control of herself.

After several minutes, Holly could tell that Gail was much calmer. Angling her head so she could look down into her wife's face, she asked, "Feel better? Do you want me to get you some water?"

Gail squeezed her wife again, but tilted her head so she could look into Holly's eyes. "No. Just stay with me. I need you to stay."

"Love, I'm not going to leave. I'm just going to get you a glass of water and some tissues. I will be right back, ok?"

Releasing her hold on her wife, Gail simply said, "Ok."

Holly leaned over to kiss Gail on the forehead before getting up to retrieve the items from the bathroom. She didn't want to leave the blonde for even a minute, but experience had taught her that the best way to help Gail in situations like these was for her to give her wife a few moments to compose herself so she felt in control of her emotions again. Holly would always be there when needed, but what Gail really needed now was to not feel weak and vulnerable.

While her wife was gone, Gail continued to breathe deeply, reminding herself that the dream was not real. Holly was safe. She had seen her and held her. The blonde made up her mind – she was putting this dream behind her immediately. No dwelling on the terror she had felt. It was just a dream. Gail wiped her face and propped herself up in the bed just as Holly was returning.

Handing her the glass of water and putting the tissues in her lap, Holly said, "Here, drink some water. You doing okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Sorry I freaked out." Gail drank half the glass of water and then placed it on the nightstand. She took a tissue and wiped her nose.

Holly could tell that Gail had composed herself, but now she seemed a little distant. "So you want to talk about your dream?"

Gail shook her head, "No. I'm fine. Let's just go back to sleep. We have to be up in a few hours for the appointment."

Taking her wife's hand, Holly tried again, "Honey, that one was really bad. You were telling someone to stop and then you said my name. Was I in the dream?"

"I don't want to talk about it, ok? Maybe tomorrow. Let's just go to sleep, please?" Gail removed her hand and slid down under the covers, signaling the end to the conversation.

"Alright. Wake me up if you need me though, ok? I love you." Holly was reluctant to end the conversation considering how upset Gail had been, but she didn't want to push.

"I love you too. Goodnight."

* * *

The next morning, Gail acted as if nothing had happened. When Holly tried to bring it up, the blonde brushed it off and quickly changed the subject. She assumed Gail was just trying to feel in control and trusted she would open up when she was ready.

Both women had taken the morning off work so they could go to Gail's OB appointment together. The blonde had been fairly quiet all morning, including the drive to the doctor's office. Now in the waiting room, Holly tried to get her wife to talk about something safe.

Grabbing her wife's hand, Holly said, "Are you excited for the appointment?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Hey, are you okay? Are you nervous?"

"I'm fine. What's there to be nervous about?"

Just as Holly was about to inquire further, the nurse called Gail's name, prompting the blonde to rise quickly from her chair and start walking toward the door. Once she got to the door, she turned around to make sure her wife was following.

"Let's go, Lunchbox. We gotta make sure this isn't actually a parasite growing inside of me."

Holly chuckled and hurried to grab her wife's hand.

About forty minutes later, after answering questions about Gail's symptoms and a physical exam, the pair were waiting for the ultrasound technician to set up the equipment. The blonde was still talking very little. She hadn't even made any snarky comments when the doctor had asked about the severity of her morning sickness. Holly was concerned but was hoping that getting to see their baby would turn things around.

"Alright. I'm going to spread some gel on your stomach. I'm sure you have seen enough movies to know it will be cold." The tech smiled amiably as he squeezed the blue liquid onto Gail's abdomen causing her to jump dramatically.

"Oh geez! Here's a tip. Use the word 'frigid' in the future. It's much more accurate."

"Noted. Ok just give me a second to find the baby." The tech moved the wand over Gail's stomach for about thirty seconds before stopping on one particular spot.

Holly, who was already holding Gail's hand, squeezed a little tighter and whispered, "Oh my god."

"What? Is everything ok?" Gail turned to look at her wife, who had tears in her eyes.

"Everything is great. This is your baby right here." He pointed to a bean-shaped white spot on the screen. "I'm going to turn the volume up so you can here the heartbeat."

Gail continued to stare at the screen and her eyes began to water. "Is she okay? I mean is she healthy?"

"He or she looks very healthy. It's too early to determine the sex, but everything looks perfectly normal."

"Gail, that's our baby. I can't believe it. We're having a baby." Holly allowed the tears to roll down her face as she leaned down to kiss her wife on the forehead. The brunette pulled the entwined hands up to her chest and held them there. "I'm so happy and I love you so, so much."

Gail had not taken her eyes away from the screen. She slurred out an "I love you" but was obviously quite distracted by the image on the screen. When a tear began to roll down her face, the spell was broken. Gail visibly shook her head and said, "So is that all? Am I good to go? I need to get to work."

Removing the wand from his patient, the tech replied, "Oh sure. I will just print a copy of the picture for you to take home and you can set your next appointment at the desk on your way out."

"Great." Gail sat up and wiped her stomach with a towel nearby. She jumped off the bed and began slipping on her pants. As soon as the tech left the room, she change out of her gown and back into her uniform as quickly as possible.

Holly, who was still slightly stunned from the sight and sound of the baby, was the one who stopped at the desk to pick up the ultrasound picture and schedule the next appointment while Gail stood by the door, looking antsy.

The cop was acting very strangely and Holly wasn't really sure why. She was in such a hurry to get out of the doctor's office that the brunette nearly had to jog to keep up. As soon as they were outside the building, Holly called out to her wife.

"Gail! Wait up!"

"I really need to get to work." Gail had stopped, but only because she needed to cross the street to get to the parking garage and the light was currently red.

"We have like 45 minutes and we're only 20 minutes away. We have plenty of time." Holly had caught up and placed her hand on Gail's shoulder, trying to look into the blonde's eyes.

"I just don't want to be late." Gail would not meet her wife's gaze. She didn't shrug off the brunette's hand, but she didn't move to return the contact either.

"Honey, what's wrong? You have barely said anything all day and you looked like you were in a race to get out of the doctor's office."

The blonde pointed her eyes toward the ground and shook her head slightly. "I don't know why you let me do this."

"Let you do what?"

Gail turned toward her wife and yelled out, "Get pregnant! Have a baby! What were you thinking? I can't have a baby! I can't be pregnant! This is a giant mistake." She turned and began to pace back and forth on her small square of concrete.

"Gail, where is this coming from?" Holly stood glued to her spot, watching the blonde begin to gesture wildly along with her rant.

"I'm a cop, Holly! I get shot at and tackled and kidnapped! Even when I'm trying to be careful, I get hurt. I have the worst luck. And I eat like a teenage boy. I don't like fruit or vegetables. I think cheese puffs are a food group. My blood is probably 75% coffee. That's not good for a baby, Holly."

"Sweetie, calm down." Holly reached out to grab her wife in an attempt to halt her pacing, but the blonde hardly noticed, continuing her path on the sidewalk.

"I can't calm down. I do stupid stuff all the time. Dov once dared me to do a back flip on a trampoline at a party we went to. And I did it! I didn't want anyone to think I was scared. But now I'm pregnant and I'm supposed to be scared. I'm supposed to worry about losing the baby. But I'm a cop. I can't do my job if I'm scared."

Gail hadn't noticed that her steps were inching closer and closer to the edge of the curb.

"Honey, you are getting really close to the street. Can you stop pacing for a second?"

The blonde did not give any indication that she had heard anything the brunette said. "I mean what were we thinking? Why did I even want to get pregnant? Such an idiotic idea to think I could keep a baby safe. And it's not even a full-grown baby yet. It's so tiny and fragile and what if I do something stupid or a drug addict sticks me with a needle or…"

Holly looked away from her wife just in time to see an approaching SUV that was perilously close to the sidewalk where Gail was standing. The brunette screamed "GAIL!" and yanked the blonde away from the curb.

The cop looked up at her wife with wide eyes. "I can't even keep myself from walking into traffic!"

Taking a moment to breathe a few sighs of relief, Holly said, "Baby, you have to calm down. What's going on? Where did all this come from? You were fine yesterday."

"I have to go to work." Gail turned to see that the crosswalk light was now green. She looked both ways before hurrying across the street.

Stunned at how suddenly Gail had walked away, Holly took a few seconds to catch up. She quickly jogged after her wife, only catching her as she entered the parking garage. The pair had parked on the ground level so it was only a matter of seconds before they reached their car. Gail pulled her keys out of her pocket and made her way to the driver's side.

"Gail! Can you please talk to me?" Holly walked around to the driver's side as well, knowing that refusing to get in the passenger's seat would slow her wife down. She placed her hand into the crook of Gail's elbow in an effort to get her to turn around.

"Holly, I need to get to work. Let's just go, ok?" The blonde ignored her wife's touch, continuing her attempt to open the door.

"No, I need you to talk to me. You were freaking out just now. You did this last night too, after your dream. You were so upset and then all of a sudden you shut down and wouldn't talk to me. What is going on?"

Gail sighed and let her arms hang at her side, her head pointed toward the ground. "Holly, I don't want to talk about this now. Please, I need to go to work."

"Gail. You're scaring me. I really don't want you to go to work like this."

The blonde spun around to look her wife in the eyes. "Do you not trust me?"

Holly reached out to grip Gail's arms with both hands, hoping to prevent her from turning away again. "That's not fair. You know that I trust you. One hundred percent. But I am worried. Because all of a sudden, you're really upset and saying that you shouldn't be pregnant and I just don't want you to leave and go out on patrol and that be the last thing you said to me. That freaks me out. And you've seen how crazy I've been lately so I would probably end up following your squad car around town and no one wants that." Holly smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

Gail chuckled briefly before schooling her face again. "Holly, when I saw that tiny dot on the screen, it just hit me. I am responsible for this baby's safety. And if I get hurt, the baby could get hurt. I mean I knew that before, but hearing the heartbeat and seeing that little bean squirm around – it just made something click in my brain. And I'm scared. What if I can't keep the baby safe? And what if I can't keep you safe? And what if I try to keep the baby safe and then I don't protect my partner like I should? I feel like I can't win."

"Honey, you can't think about it that way. The odds are that nothing is going to happen. You will be on patrol for a little longer, but then you won't physically be able to do it because your body will change so much. You'll be much safer working the desk or evidence. And until then, I trust that you will do what you need to in order to keep everyone safe. But hey, one person you don't have to worry about is me. I work in a lab and I'm definitely not fragile." Holly's attempt to keep the conversation light fell flat. The blonde's face was darkened by the demons she had been trying to keep at bay.

Gail put her hands on her wife's hips. "Holly, that dream I had? It was terrible. Perrick got you. He had you on that table and I was tied to a chair and I couldn't save you. I kept begging him to take me instead, to not hurt you, but he wouldn't listen. He had a knife and you were screaming and it was so real. I can't lose you. I need you. And I'm worried about what I would do if I had to protect both you and the baby."

"Protect the baby, Gail. If it came down to me or the baby, you should protect the baby."

Gail closed her eyes and shook her head. "Holly, I love this baby. But I can't promise that I won't try to protect you. You can't ask me to do that. I don't want anything to happen to the baby. But when I think about losing you? I can't breathe. I wouldn't survive it. I have to do everything to keep you safe."

Holly slid her hands down Gail's arms to hold her hands. "Okay, well, I'm not in danger right now so let's not worry about this for no reason, ok? It was just a dream. Perrick is in jail. He's not getting out. I am going to be fine, the baby is going to be fine and you're going to be fine."

Gail nodded and then wrapped her arms around the brunette, pulling her in for a hug. With her head buried in Holly's collarbone, Gail mumbled, "That dream was just so real, Holly. I could smell the blood. It was so vivid."

Holly cupped the back of the blonde's hand with one hand and held her back firmly with the other. "I'm so sorry, Love. I wish you had told me sooner. Vivid dreams can be a side effect of pregnancy. If it happens again, you have to talk to me, ok? I can't help if I don't know what's going on."

"I know. I'm sorry. But when I think about losing you, I just can't take it. I just didn't want to think about it anymore."

"I understand. But we're in this together, remember? I need to know what's going on so I can help."

"I know." After a few silent seconds, Gail lifted her head, which now sported her characteristic smirk. "So how adorable was that tiny bean?"

"Oh my god. We have the cutest baby ever. On the planet. I mean, I know every parent says that, but I'm a scientist so I'm pretty sure my opinion counts more and I think our kid is going to be the most adorable ever."

The smile on Gail's face could light up a room. "You are such a nerd. I mean clearly you're right, but still a nerd."

"I can't help it! I'm just so in love with our life and our family. And seeing our baby for the first time – I just never imagined I could be this happy."

"Alright, Lunchbox, you're about to launch into a Maria Von Trapp song and that's where I draw the line. I really have to go to work now."

"Oh alright. Are you sure you're okay now?"

"Yeah. I'm better. I'm okay to go to work now."

Holly lifted her hands to cup both of Gail's cheeks. "I love you, you know that?"

Gail put her own hands over her wife's and then leaned in for a kiss. After a few seconds, the blonde pulled back abruptly and while turning around to unlock the door, said, "Yeah, I know. Cause I'm your baby mama." Gail climbed in the seat, but before she shut the door, she flashed a big cheesy grin to the brunette who had been left floundering by their kiss.

Holly shook her head. "You're the worst."

She made her way around to the passenger side and as she opened the door, Gail flashed another smile. "I love you!"

Climbing in, still shaking her head but also smiling, Holly said, "Yeah, yeah. Let's go, baby mama."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: So again, I'm not a cop, so I have no knowledge of how undercover ops work. I'm just dreaming things up. Hopefully it's entertaining!**

* * *

A few days later, 15 was abuzz with the newest undercover assignment. There was a new ring of gun smugglers in Toronto and Guns & Gangs had recently gotten a tip about an upcoming shipment. Many of the former rookies had thrown their names in the hat to be considered. Gail had talked to Oliver several months prior and asked that she not be assigned to any undercover ops because of some circumstances in her personal life. Oliver knew Gail well enough to not ask for details. If a Peck was asking to be left out of potentially career-altering opportunities, it was for a very good reason.

The competition had been fierce, but Chris had ultimately been chosen. He had worked really hard since his time in rehab and was excited to have a chance to prove himself. The plan was for him to leave that night, meeting up with the CI and pose as a friend willing to do any job for the right price. He would report back in a few days with what he had seen.

Chris, Dov, Andy, Traci, Chloe and Gail had gathered in the break room at the end of shift to wish him luck.

"Are you nervous?" Traci asked.

"Yeah. A little. But not because it could be dangerous. I just want to make a good impression. I'm hoping it will lead to a spot in Guns & Gangs."

"You'll be great, Chris. Stay safe though. Keep your eyes and ears open and use your exit strategy if things look like they're going south." Andy grabbed Chris's arm affectionately.

"Yeah, I will. Don't worry."

Gail chuckled. "Worry? We all saw you work those tight white pants, Diaz. Even years later, those hips don't lie. No one would have the heart to hurt someone with such a pretty figure."

Chris was smiling, "Yeah, I don't think the white pants will make an appearance this time."

Shrugging her shoulders, Gail said, "I'm just saying, I think fellas from all walks of life can appreciate that ass."

"Ok, Gail. I think Chris will do just fine without the tight pants." Traci wanted to break this discussion up before it took a turn.

"I'm just trying to help him utilize his ASS-ets." Gail giggled at her own joke.

"Chris has plenty of skills. I've been helping him practice his angry glare." Dov chimed in.

"I hope you didn't use your own face as an example." Gail shot back.

"Well, I, for one, can't wait for Chris to come back and tell us all his stories about the seedy underbelly of Toronto." Chloe's voice was high with excitement.

"I will only be gone a few days. Not sure how many stories I will have."

"Just don't do anything stupid. I don't want to have to put on my dress blues for your funeral. The hat makes me look like a boy." Gail said.

Despite the seemingly self-centered comment, Chris understood that this was Gail's way of telling him to come home safe. He smiled at her and the group continued to talk until it was time for Chris to leave to meet up with the detectives handling the case. They all hugged and told him to be careful and alert. Despite the fact that they had all gone undercover several times and accepted the danger, there was still something uncomfortable that settled into their stomachs until their friends came home safely.

* * *

Later that evening, Gail sat up in bed, continuing to stare at the same page in a pregnancy book that she had first started nearly twenty minutes earlier. Holly had promised to give Gail a "nag-free" week if she finished the entire book. But even the promise of endless cheese puffs and no kale wasn't enough to distract her from the thoughts that were currently keeping her attention.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Holly put down her medical journal and took off her glasses. She had noticed that her wife hadn't turned a page in quite some time.

"Wow. Only a penny? You must think I'm really cheap. I'm insulted."

"Well how about I give you an IOU? I'm a little short on change."

"Fine, but I'll warn you, my interest rates are exorbitant."

"I'm good for it. But seriously, is everything ok?" Holly grabbed Gail's hand and rubbed her thumb over the pale skin.

"I was just thinking about Chris." The blonde put the book on her bedside table, resigning herself to the fact that she was finished reading for the night.

"He left tonight, right? For his undercover op?"

"Yeah. It's a big deal for him. He was excited."

"So what's bothering you?" The brunette squeezed her wife's hand in encouragement.

"Nothing. I'm happy for him."

"Gail. You've been staring at the same page for over fifteen minutes. Something is clearly on your mind."

"Your Jedi mind tricks really get in the way of me maintaining an impenetrable, icy facade."

"What can I say? When it comes to knowing you, the Force is with me."

Gail turned to look at Holly so she would be sure to see the blonde rolling her eyes. " You are such a nerd."

"I'm not going to point out that you made the first _Star Wars_ reference because you're trying to distract me from finding out what's wrong."

"Is it working?' Gail flashed her signature cheesy grin.

Instead of answering, Holly just tilted her head slightly. The look on her face communicated more than words ever could.

"Ugh. Fine. It's just weird when someone's on undercover assignment. It feels like something's missing." She looked down at the blanket, feeling embarrassed by the confession.

Holly reached up to turn Gail's face back toward hers. "Honey, you said he'd be back in a few days, right?"

"Yeah. He will and he will be fine. It's not a big deal. I'll just feel better when he's back."

"I understand, love. I hate it when you go undercover. It feels so empty around here. Truth be told, part of the reason I was glad you wanted to get pregnant was because I knew it would mean you wouldn't be able to go undercover for at least a year." Holly pulled their clasped hands into her lap.

Gail grinned, "Well aren't you underhanded?"

Holly flashed a giant smile, not feeling the least bit guilty. "Hey, you were the one who suggested that you get pregnant. I just happily agreed."

"Well normally I would give you a really hard time, but considering how I feel about Chris being gone for a few days, I will cut you some slack."

"Sweetie, Chris will be fine. He is a good cop and he's smart. In a few days, you'll be celebrating at the Penny."

"Did that argument ever make you feel better abut me being gone?"

Sighing in defeat, the brunette responded, "Nope. Not even a little bit"

"Thought so. I appreciate the effort though. Anyway, are you tired yet? Emotions exhaust me." Gail closed her eyes dramatically.

Holly chuckled. "Yeah, let's go to sleep. You'll feel better in the morning. And it's supposed to storm tonight so I want to be asleep before the thunder starts."

"Aww, are you scared? Need me to hold you?" Gail scooted down in the bed, pulling her wife with her until the brunette was the big spoon to her little one.

"I will never turn that offer down." Holly kissed the blonde's temple before settling her hand over Gail's stomach. "I love you"

"Love you too, nerd."

* * *

A few hours later, heavy rain began to pound the windows while intense lightning shown through the windows. Gail began to stir and mumble in her sleep, however, this time, the sound did not rouse Holly.

The blonde was sweating now and shaking her head. "No. Please, no. Chris, help me." For several minutes, Gail's whimpers grew louder until a particularly loud clap of thunder startled her awake. She shot up into a sitting position and immediately wrapped her arms across her stomach and began to cry.

The bed began to shake due to Gail's sobbing, finally causing Holly to emerge from her own, more pleasant, dreams. She turned over to cuddle back up with Gail, but saw she was already awake. She immediately knew something was wrong by the way she was holding her body.

"Gail? Are you okay?" She sat up and placed a hand on the blonde's back.

Gail didn't answer. She continued to cry, her head buried in the knees she had brought up to her chest.

"Gail. Honey, talk to me. Was it another nightmare? Are you in pain?" Holly dipped her head to try to make eye contact.

Gail continued to sob, but also tried to craft a response. "N-nightmare…the baby…couldn't make it stop."

Concerned at the mention of the baby, Holly placed her free hand on Gail's knee. "Honey, what about the baby? Take some deep breaths. I can't understand what you're saying."

Taking a deep breath, the blonde tried to clear her throat and speak more clearly, "It was…another nightmare. Perick had me on his table." She hiccupped and sniffled. "He wanted to hurt the baby. Chris was there, but he couldn't hear me. I kept begging him to help me."

Holly pulled her wife into her arms, placed one hand just above the blonde's ear and began to stroke the soft hair. "It's ok. Perick is in jail. You are safe and the baby is safe. Nothing is going to happen. I'm sure you dreamed about Chris because you are worried about him. But you know he would do anything for you. You're his family."

Gail squeezed her eyes shut and tried to concentrate on Holly's words rather than the horrific images that had just felt so real. "I couldn't keep the baby safe, Holly."

"It wasn't real, sweetie. It was just a dream. The baby is safe." The brunette snuck her free hand under Gail's so that she could rub her stomach for emphasis.

"It was like I was back in that room. It felt…" Gail was cut off by the shrill tone of her cell phone on the bedside table. Before Holly could protest, the blonde had sat up to retrieve the phone.

Clearing her throat before touching the "answer" button, Gail said, "Peck. This better be good."

Holly waited in silence while Gail listened to the person on the other end. At least thirty seconds passed before Gail answered.

"I will be there in ten." In one hasty movement, Gail hung up the phone, got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. Without turning around, she said, "I have to go in."

"What? Who was on the phone?" Holly was having trouble shifting gears. Three minutes ago, Gail had been sobbing in her arms. Now she was in the bathroom, putting on her uniform.

"It was Oliver. Chris didn't check in like he was supposed to. No one knows where he is. I have to help find him." Gail leaned over the sink to splash her face with water, hoping to remove some of the indications that she had been crying.

"Gail, no. It's insane outside. You can't go in." Holly had gotten out of bed and was standing in the doorway.

Pulling up her pants and shaking her head, Gail said, "I have to, Holly. Chris is missing. He needs me."

"Gail, can you just slow down? Two minutes ago you were sobbing. I don't want you to go out in this weather, especially when you're upset."

The blonde's face was stony, revealing none of the emotion she had been feeling just moments ago. "Holly, I have to find him. It's like you said. He is family."

"Are you gonna try to find those gun smugglers? Gail that could be so dangerous. At least take a few minutes to catch your breath."

Gail was buckling her belt, "Holly, I can't take a few minutes. Chris may not have a few minutes. It was a stupid nightmare. I will be fine."

"Honey, please. " Holly placed her hand over her mouth, the fear she felt starting to manifest itself as tears in her eyes.

Hearing the fear in her wife's voice, Gail crossed the room and grabbed Holly's hips. "Holly, please don't ask me not to go. Because Chris is missing and if you're upset when I leave, I'm not going to be able to concentrate. He needs me Holly. You said Chris would do anything for me. That goes both ways. So right now I have to be a cop, not your pregnant wife who just had a breakdown after a nightmare. I am going to be careful, just like I always am. I'm going to come home to you. But I need to make sure Chris comes home too."

Holly squeezed her eyes shut and took a shaky breath. When she opened them again, a tear rolled down her cheek. She wrapped her arms around the blonde and pulled her in for a hug. "Find him. But, please be careful."

"I will."

"I mean it, Peck. If Chris turns out to be fine and you end up in the hospital? I will kill you. Promise me you won't do anything stupid."

Gail pulled back so she could look into her wife's eyes. "I promise. But I have to go now. I will call you when I can." Breaking away from the embrace, she made her way through the bedroom, down the stairs and to the foyer where she gathered her keys and raincoat.

Holly had followed her downstairs, but watched silently while Gail gathered the last of her things.

After she put on her second boot, Gail turned to Holly, grabbed her face with both hands and kissed her quickly. "I love you, Lunchbox. I'll be back soon. Try not to worry."

"Not possible. I love you too. Be careful, Gail."

Gail opened the door and just before she walked out, she mumbled, "Mmhmm, I will."

Holly closed and locked the door before walking across the room to sit on the couch. She knew she wasn't going to get any more sleep tonight.

* * *

When Gail walked into the station, she headed straight for the parade room. The room was buzzing with the nervous energy of what seemed like every officer at 15. Gail sat down next to Dov.

She asked, "Has there been anything new?"

"Not yet. I'm sure this is all a big misunderstanding. I'm sure Chris is being a total badass right now." Dov's voice lacked the confidence that his words contained.

"He's going to be fine. We will find him." Gail stared straight ahead as her brother walked up to the podium.

"Alright, here's what we know. Officer Diaz was supposed to meet up with the CI at 7pm. They were then to meet up with Gabriel Muñoz, cousin of Angel Muñoz, the leader of the new gun smuggling operation in Toronto. The CI was asked to find guys to help with the physical labor of the operation. Officer Diaz was to meet up with Gabriel to try to break into the group. He was supposed to send a coded text message to me at 10pm each night to communicate that things were going as planned. He did not send a message and after several hours of trying to contact his burner phone, we are declaring him officially missing. We don't know where he is and we don't know what happened. We need everyone to spread out and hit all the places that the members of this ring are known to frequent. If you spot Officer Diaz, do not approach. We do not want to blow his cover. Use whatever excuse you need to in order to disguise your reason for entering these establishments. If you find him, phone it in immediately. Ok people get to work. We don't lose one of our own."

The officers began to pair up and head out. Gail turned to Dov and clapped him on the back. "Come on, Epstein. Let's go find him."

Six hours later, Gail was reaching her breaking point. She was tired, hungry and even more worried about her friend than when they had first begun searching for him. She and Dov had been inside so many dive bars, pretending to do surprise inspections that she thought she might never get all the peanut shells out of the soles of her boots.

Walking out to the squad car after "inspecting" a particularly disgusting bar, Gail was fuming. One of the patrons had "accidentally" spilled beer on the bottom of her pant leg after stumbling over a barstool. This was on top of the fact that her pants were already damp from the pounding rain. "If Diaz just forgot to hit send on that text message, I'm going to make him hand wash my uniform."

"He didn't forget, Gail."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm just tired and cranky and I thought we would have found him by now."

"I know. Me too. Let's head to…" Dov was interrupted by the sound of his cell phone. "Officer Epstein."

Gail pulled the squad into the nearest business to wait for Dov to relay the latest news. "Did they find him?"

"Thank god. I knew he was fine. So we can head in now? Roger that." Dov hung up the phone and turned to Gail. "Chris is fine. He finally sent a text. Apparently the CI also reported in that they had initially taken Chris's cell phone to check it. They didn't give it back to him until they were sure they could trust him. Standard protocol apparently, which for some reason the CI just so happened to leave out of the initial briefing."

"Idiot. I hope my brother kills that guy. Alright, let's go home. I'm sure Holly is freaking out. I didn't even have a chance to call her. She's probably about 30 minutes away from storming 15 for answers about my whereabouts."

"Wouldn't be the first time. God, I'm glad Chloe is a cop. Makes it so much easier."

"Yeah, tell me about it. I mean I wouldn't change being married to Holly for anything, but sometimes, for her sake, I wish she were a cop too. But then I'd have to worry about her safety and I would suck at that. I'd probably forbid her to go places. We wouldn't have lasted long."

"Yeah, you got lucky with Holly. She's better than most civilian spouses I know."

"Trust me, I know."

* * *

Back at their house, Holly was still sitting on their couch, having only gotten up to bring her cell phone and the medical journal she had been reading downstairs. She had tried to read in order to distract herself, but had given up on that idea hours ago. Instead she had alternated between playing games on her phone and just staring at the door, thinking of all the things that could go wrong. She was in the midst of playing Angry Birds when she heard the key turn in the lock of their front door. She immediately threw her phone on the couch and crossed the room.

"Hey, Holly, I'm sorry I didn't…" Gail's apology was interrupted by Holly nearly tackling the blonde with a hug. The brunette buried her face in Gail's neck and inhaled the familiar scent, paying no attention to the fact that Gail's clothes were damp from the rain.

Gail took a moment to delight in the feeling of being in Holly's arms once again. Now that the intensity of the last several hours had ended so quickly, she let herself wilt with relief. "They found him. Chris is okay. The smuggling ring took his phone to make sure he was trustworthy. Damn CI didn't tell the detectives that that was standard protocol. Chris was never danger. Well, not any extra danger than comes with going undercover."

Holly hadn't moved an inch. "I'm glad."

"Yeah me too. But now I'm exhausted. And I have to go back in for my shift in a few hours. Thank god I'm working the nightshift. Poor Dov didn't even go home because it was only 30 minutes until his shift started."

"Mmhmm." The brunette still hadn't lessened her hold on her wife.

"I'm really sorry I didn't call. I was driving and we were just trying to hit as many bars as possible to see if we could find Chris. I'm sorry you were worried."

Holly finally pulled away to look Gail in the face. "I'm just glad you're home. I really hate it when you leave in the middle of the night. For some reason it freaks me out more than usual. Probably the exhaustion. It makes my mind race. I couldn't stop playing out these ridiculous scenarios in my head. Like you were going to find Chris, but then get trapped undercover so you wouldn't blow Chris's cover. Even though that makes no sense because you're wearing your uniform so they would know you're a cop right away. But for some reason that just seemed like something that could definitely happen. Or Perick was the real leader of the smuggling ring and this was all just a ploy to kidnap you again, which is ridiculous because he's in jail and I know that. I know I'm rambling. I'm just so tired and I was so worried."

Gail touched Holly's cheek, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. You were doing your job. If you had been missing, I would have wanted everyone to be out looking for you. I know why you had to go. It's just hard being the one who has to wait. But it's ok. You're safe and you're home now. And I'm sure you are more tired than me. Let's just get back in bed until you have to go back to work."

Gail nodded her head and grabbed Holly's hand. The pair went upstairs and got ready for bed again. Gail fell into bed, barely able to keep her eyes open long enough to give Holly a goodnight kiss before she rolled over and passed out.

It took Holly a bit longer to wind down. She was once again the big spoon to Gail's little spoon, with her hand lying gently on Gail's stomach. But this time, she was squeezing her wife just a bit tighter and mumbling prayers of thanks to whomever had gotten her wife home safely.


End file.
